The Quiet Traveller: Day 35 – San Francisco

Alcatraz was the name of the game today, and I was excited to visit the notorious prison which had become the stuff of legend. Being a bit of an Xbox geek as well, I was interested to see how similar one of the Call of Duty zombie maps was to the real thing (very similar, excellent design work).

En route to the ferry departure place, I spotted a doggo. Not much surprise there you might say. A dog. In a big city. Pretty standard stuff. Alas, this was no ordinary doggo. This specimen sported sunglasses – yes, actual sunglasses specifically for said doggo. They must have been from ‘Yap’, the dog clothing store mentioned previously, and they only served to reinforce my assessment that there was no point trying to understand America.

It was quite a complex process to get to the island. Pre-booked tickets and an extensive queuing system was all part of the fun, and I found myself standing amongst a coachload of silver surfers led by an all-American tour guide. However, it was quite nice to hear the English accents from within the group, knowing that they were just as baffled by this country as I was. Although they may have lived before the invention of the kettle, so perhaps they were not as enraged as myself at the lack of them.

As my British soul heartily enjoyed the fantastically organised queue (a zigzag layout with divider ropes – top notch stuff), I thought about the sea lions which were the residents of Pier 39. The pier used to be in use as a marina I believe, but since the seals took over, it’s now theirs. Quite literally, they have taken it over, forcing out yachts for good. These whiffy, loud beasts spend their days sunning themselves and pushing each other off the jetties. As I have previously stated, being a seal sounds great, and from my observations at Pier 39,  being a sea lion sounds even better.

The ferry was quite packed, but it was a short journey to the island. Clambering up the steep hills towards the jailhouse, you get a sense of the isolation and mental torture that it must have been for prisoners, being able to see the mainland so close yet so far. Entering the Cellhouse, I picked up an audio guide and starting making my way round. Audio tours are always a bit hit and miss I find – sometimes they are excellent; other times it’s like watching James Milner watch paint dry. Luckily, this was the latter, and very informative and interesting.

There also was written information alongside the audio tour, and with this came the people who take pictures of the information and move on, in order to read them later. This baffles me, as they don’t read them later. And if they read them in the moment, they might actually understand what is in front of them. Rant over.

The coolest part of the whole island was the story of the notorious escapees. You get to to see the cell where an inmate used spoons to widen an air vent and escape the Cellhouse, making off into the cold blue waters of the bay. An impressive feat indeed.

The bit below the sink on the floor is the spoon-escape-hatch.

Perhaps the most chilling part was the solitary confinement block, at which I took a photo of one of the cells, and walked inside. I later found out that this very cell, 14-D, was the most haunted of all. Allegedly people often find it to be a lot colder than the normal temperature, and hear voices and noises emanating from within. I did not experience this when I was in the cell, but I must admit I did feel a bit uncomfortable standing inside it.

No editing or filters and it still looks creepy.

Thinking about it, solitary confinement is a bit of a blessing for an incarcerated introvert. Obviously not for an extended period, but if I was in a crowded prison and given orders to spend time in solitary for a day or two, I would be perfectly happy I like to think. Unfortunely I don’t think confinement is for just one or two day.

Confinement was probably beginning to appeal to me because of a new addition to my hostel dorm – an old bearded snorer. He had a slight whiff of beer about him, and when asked where he was from, he replied ‘here’, which led me to believe he was on the streets a lot of the time. I kept talking to him to get a better measure of him, ending up discussing Trump, and luckily he seemed to be relatively sane, albeit an interesting character. Unfortunately however, this man could snore. I lie. He did not snore. He throttled like a motorbike, like the thunder of a thousand thunderstorms, like the roar of all the lions in the world. I had never experienced anything like it. I dealt with it by learning to fall asleep to my iPod at a very loud volume, which only just matched his thunderous tones*

All in all, Day 35 was excellent, and I would definitely recommend a visit to Alcatraz.

*Admittedly this was an issue, but don’t let this put you off sharing hostels dorms. At the end of the day, you’re only in the room to sleep (ok, on this occasion it was difficult to), and you can always find restorative niches somewhere when you are out.





The Quiet Traveller: Day 34 – San Francisco

Venturing into the city centre, away from the coastline, I intended to visit the Beat Museum, which chronicles the Beat Generation of the 1950s living in San Francisco.

My observations of the day made me realise that America was a rather strange place. Something which struck me as rather backwards was the lack of PIN needed when using your card. Which meant you could simply find a card, and use it, feigning signatures if necessary. Although I suppose the introduction of contactless has created a similar issue. To be fair cards usually get cancelled very quickly once lost anyway.

Before setting out, I decided to grab some snackage from the hostel vending machine. I was delighted to see a classic KitKat on offer, a delicacy rooted in traditional English cuppa break culture. However, this was not just a two finger job. It wasn’t even a four finger job. This was an eight finger beast. Only the American nation would even think to create such a monster. I felt this summed up America, over the top to the point of being slightly impractical, and meaning that ‘have a break, have a KitKat’, was more like ‘have a lunch hour, have a KitKat’.

Interestingly, I found the wide streets of the city a lot less stressful that the packed shorelines. They were also a lot less busy, although I feel this may be because the rents and houses are so expensive that real people don’t actually live in these areas any more. As I would find out over the next few days, this was a major issue in the city, and one that also plagues a lot of central areas of UK cities as well. Nevertheless, it was nice to recharge and walk around freely after the intensity of the tourist areas.

Bansky style streetart near the Beat Museum summing up US foreign policy.

I spent a good hour or two at the Beat Museum, which was a very reasonable $8, and I learnt a bit more about the Beatniks like Kerouac and Ginsberg. It turned out that the beatniks were the foundations of the hippie movement that exploded in 1960s California, but the hippies were much more loud and hedonistic. I got the impression that the beats were much more internalised characters, although I’m pretty sure a lot were just as hedonistic as the hippies that came after them.

Complex reasoning was not one of Ginsberg’s strong points.

I exited the museum through the gift shop, which also functioned as a second hand book store. I stumbled across an old edition of 1984, something I had been meaning to read for a long time. Happy with the $5 price tag for a rather cool find, I took it over the till, where the cashier complimented my choice. However, he also charged me an extra 37c, which was because I had forgotten that in most US states, tax is not included in the price. This was something that quietly infuriated me through a lot of my trip, as often it was akin to Ryanair making you pay extra just to breath their pestilence-filled cabin air.

I also decided to pay a visit to Lombard Street, probably one of the most famous streets in the world. This twisty-turny road is a bizarre phenomenon which is now packed with slow moving cars and pedestrians alike. Unfortunately, skateboarding and other similar activities are banned, meaning the only way you can skate it is on the original Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater.


On the way back to the seafront hostel, I stopped at a shopping precinct type thing to have a browse. Upon encountering a shop that solely catered to the clothing needs of dogs, I gave up trying to understand America.

Yappin hell.



The Quiet Traveller: Day 33 – San Francisco

As always in a new city, the first day was to be pure exploration. To wander around the neighbourhood and get a feel for the metropolis. As I set off in the direction of Fisherman’s Wharf, the main seafront area of SF, I couldn’t help but observe a few oddities from a British perspective.

Firstly, there were several instances whereby Americans would simply say ‘Excuse me’, and then make their move past/through. This was very bizarre, as the appropriate protocol is to say ‘Excuse me’, followed by at least 47 utterances of ‘sorry’, and finally topped off with a varied menagerie of diplomatic hand signals. But alas, these savages were very to the point.

Secondly, something which I noticed before even setting foot out of the hostel, was the lack of kettle. That’s right. No kettles. This was supposed to be a developed, first world country, yet to my dismay there was no rapid boiling facility available to make a fresh brew. This was a red flag that I was venturing out into a very strange country.

Blue skies, blue water.

Walking through Fisherman’s Wharf was a bit overwhelming, as the sun was shining down and thousands of people were milling around, browsing the tourist tat shops. I wasn’t as tired as when I arrived in Australia, but I still felt like I needed a day to fully realign my body clock to Cali time. Sporting my resting bitch face, enhanced by my tiredness, I was approached by a man who waved an official looking badge in front of me. Slightly alarmed, I snapped out of my stupor, wondering what I had done wrong. It turned out that this man was claiming to be the smile police, and he had stopped me for not looking happy enough. Naturally, this made me very unhappy, and so I grudgingly accepted some smiley face stickers he was waving at me and turned on the afterburners, not wanting to be conned/mugged/forced to smile on my first day in the States.

Eventually, I found something right up my street, the WW2 Liberty Ship SS Jeremiah O’Brien, and the USS Pampanito, a WW2 submarine. I took the opportunity to explore both, finding the sub absolutely fascinating, but the ship a little overpriced. I thought they would be packed, given the huge crowds on the Wharf, but it seemed the public had no interest in history. For me, this was ideal, as the vessels provided a quiet refuge from the baptism of fire into the country.

America HAD to come to the rescue. Ok guys, we get it. Yeah but we HAD to.

My day was completed with a shopping trip to Safeway, something which I had not done for a long time since the brand had disappeared from the UK a long time ago. This was a rather confusing experience, as there were a lot products which I simply did not understand what they were. The biscuit selection was also pitiful, but I managed to curate a small basket of produce that looked edible. One thing I also noticed was the sugary milk. What’s up with that?

It had been a mixed first day in the States, but I was looking forward to the prospect of exploring beyond the local tourist vicinity and seeing the city and surrounding area proper over the next few days.



The Quiet Traveller: Day 32 – San Francisco

Today was a travel day, but not just any travel day, this was a time travel day. The journey across the Pacific would take me back in time, as I was leaving Auckland in the evening and arriving in the morning of the same day. It’s obviously no different to any other long haul flight, but to think you have time travelled is pretty cool.

Kicked out of the hostel at 10 (figuratively speaking), I hopped on the Skybus to the airport, and in case I wasn’t already awake, this preliminary journey made sure I was. As the bus speakers played a selection of chart-topping tunes, the driver threw the bus around the streets towards the airport, rattling my bones and making me look forward to the relative comfort of an economy class long haul flight seat.

N78. Relax? Oh go on then, if you insist electronic board.

Auckland airport was mildly snazzy, although lacking in seating I found. Contenting myself with a perch rather than an actual seat, I made the most of the 30 mins free WiFi (why WiFi should be a paid for service in an international hub baffles me), before taking a wander around. I ended up buying one of those curved travel pillows; not just for the flight but for hostels, as often hostel pillows can be of varying quality, ranging from the structural stability of a Mars bar on a hot day to military grade titanium. At least with my new purchase, consistency was assured.

Found in the airport toilet, this author’s struggles with DIY is a problem for the ages.

As I people watched and thought ahead to my new destination, I was a mixture of anxiety and excitement. When you think about it, new people are everywhere. Each one walking by has a life, family, dreams, hopes, and desires. To become good at and comfortable with constantly meeting new people is to open yourself up to lots of new worlds. So even if it can be draining at times for introverts, it’s always a positive thing to do. As I looked ahead to America, I was curious as to what it would be like during election year. Looking back, I’m so glad I got in and out prior to the orange gibbon.

The flight itself, with Air New Zealand, was relatively uneventful, apart from the mad time travel aspect. Upon arrival at San Francisco international, I was looking forward to wearing cold weather clothes, as I had heard the weather was known to be very changeable. However, the Bay Area had decided to make my week there a scorcher, which was appreciated to an extent.

Immigration was rather intense, as I suspected it would be. Interrogated by an unimpressed woman, who looked at me as if I had just thrown her dog off the Golden Gate, I was asked where I had got the money to come to the USA. Shakily replying that I had worked at a thing called a job like lots of other people do to get money, she went on to ask if I knew anyone in the States. Giving the answer that my uncle lived in New York, I answered a few more standard questions (business or leisure etc.), until I was finally given the all clear to proceed. This confirmed my suspicions that the United States was a slightly nutty country, as I would find out many times over the next few weeks.

I caught the BART (Bay Area Rapid Transit) into the city, and then caught a bus from Montgomery Street Station. To say I was thrown into the deep end of the public transport system would be an understatement. Boarding the bus by dropping a few quarters into a slot, I found myself on a crowded classic American style city bus, surrounded by people of all colour, age, and ethnicity. It was about 1pm, and here I was, awkwardly standing with my huge backpack in an iconic city ready to be explored. It seems like a banal experience on paper, but I remember this part of the trip so well, and it was simultaneously stressful, exciting, and energising to find myself there.

Eventually reaching my stop, I hopped off and completed the short walk to my hostel, HI Fisherman’s Wharf, an old fort and barracks located on a hill overlooking the bay. It was an ideal place, slightly out of the way, great views, clean, INCLUDED BREAKFAST, and not too busy. A famous icon glinted red in the distance, and I was struck by how impressive it was. It’s much bigger in real life.

I was quite tired by now, and as it was early evening I headed out in search of sustenance. Luckily there was a food truck night on at the bottom of the hill, so I headed down to check it out. It was a really cool setup, lots of different foods and a good crowd, despite the shitty DJ in the middle ruining it. Filling up on steak strips and chilli, I topped off my evening with a monster doughnut (when in Rome). I had become very aware of my accent during the past few hours, and my British awkwardness was baffled when the cashier asked my name followed by asking how I was in a weirdly genuine fashion. I was confused, as in Britain myself and a lot of people generally try to carry out transactions with the least amount of syllables possible. I think Britain is one of the best places to be an introvert – unless you live in the North, whereby it seems they will chat to anything with a pulse.

Food and food and food.

Clambering into my top bunk after watching the sun set behind the bridge, I made a nest with my new pillow and enjoyed the ‘new city to be explored’ feeling.

The Quiet Traveller: Day 31 – Auckland

I did very little today, apart from some washing, listening to new music on youtube, and mentally preparing myself to go to the United States of America. I was finding Auckland to be a bit of dull city to be honest – Wellington did not seems as big, but at least it had a bit of history and character.

The Sky Tower in particular is an example of trying to inject some character into the city. You can jump off it (with all the necessary safety equipment) which is pretty cool. But ultimately it’s just a bigger building in a city full of big buildings. Maybe I’m wrong and just need to spend more time there. But that was my impression.

Auckland also seemed to have a high proportion of homeless people, and it seemed I was asked for change so often that it would have been a good financial investment for them to acquire a contactless point of sale device. Sadly, this seems to be commonplace in cities where there is a lot of money earned by a top group of people.

On the bright side, thanks to the decent internet at my last two hostels, I was able to follow the football, during which England beat Germany in a friendly, a result of a late Eric Dier goal to cap off a rather unexpected comeback. Whilst cooking dinner, a rather depressing blend of pasta and whatever vaguely edible things I had in my food bag, I struck up a conversation with a German guy cooking next to me. Naturally, it was only polite to quickly turn the conversation towards football.

According to him, the German media had diagnosed a lack of motivation as the reason for the loss. This was immensely satisfying to hear, as more often than not a lack of motivation is what is splashed all over the back pages after an England defeat.

Surprisingly, the day ended by catching up with Veronika, who I had already said goodbye to in Wellington. It’s a small world, and New Zealand, it turns out, is even smaller. Parting ways after 3 weeks in New Zealand, we had made plans for a Vienna/UK reunion, which is yet to happen, but remains firmly in the pipeline. It was very rewarding to make a new friend in a land far away, partly because it reduced the drain that meeting new people puts on me, but also because it’s one of those things you can’t buy. And the best things in life are free 98% of the time. 2% reserved for custard creams and other tastinesses.

The internet also told me that back home, the name Boaty McBoatface was winning the poll for the name of the new scientific research vessel. Upon reflection in 2018, this should have been the ominous warning sign that things were about to get a lil’ crazy on this planet. ‘Onwards to the land of Trump’ I have written at the bottom of the page.

P.S. I borrowed the cover photo from Wikipedia. There wasn’t many things worth taking a photo of in Auckland.

The Quiet Traveller: Day 30 – Auckland

As I awoke from a deep and interrupted slumber, I could feel the excitement of a new city waiting to be explored. If only you could bottle this feeling and consume it at will, a crisp refreshing beverage to quench the exploratory thirst.

I didn’t have much planned for Auckland, I was only here for a short time, so I simply headed off in the direction of the harbour. Wandering through the streets, I noticed a distinctly financial feel to the city, mostly due to the skyscrapers and high number of banker suits bustling to coffee shops in-between meetings regarding how to shaft the general public with maximum efficiency.

Wearing my Nike shorts and plain t-shirt I looked very much out of place, which got me thinking that as a tourist, you are probably much safer wearing a suit in a large city, as it looks like you live there and therefore aren’t to be messed with. Things such as bum bags simply make you stand out as a target even more. Speaking of bum bags, why are they suddenly so fashionable? To clarify, I was not sporting a bum bag.

On the way down to the waterside, I stumbled across The Globe. Quite literally. It was a pop up Globe, a recreation of the London theatre as it would have been in Shakespeare’s day, with an open plan ground and stage, and then seating around in a semi-circle above. Curious, I got closer to investigate, and discovered that there was a performance of Twelfth Night this very night. The best part of this was a ticket price of only $10 NZD, and seeing as I had nothing else to do, I decided to give it a go.

Fast forward a few hours, and I was standing where the peasants traditionally stood, whilst people with jobs and more money had paid for seats in the semi circle. Ironically, the standing area gave the best views, as you were so close to the stage to see the actor’s expressions close up. Waiting to go in however, I felt a bit underdressed, as the crowd seemed to be full of blazer toting elites – and I quote, ‘I’ll just grab a wine here’ said one. No one ‘grabs’ a wine. Beer, yes. Wine, no.

My view of the stage.

The performance itself was actually a lot of fun, and I enjoyed it a lot more than I thought I would. As is often the case with Shakespeare, the sexual innuendo and general filth of some lines was a highlight. Interestingly, the cast was also completely made up of men, as it would have been during Shakespeare’s day. Because of the plot of Twelfth Night, this meant you had sometimes had a man playing a woman pretending to be man, which got a bit confusing given I hadn’t read/seen the play before.



The Quiet Traveller: Day 29 – Auckland

Today was an early start, leaving Wellington station on a train called the Northern Explorer. This ten hour journey would take me from the bottom of the North Island all the way up to the top of it, reaching Auckland at dusk.

On paper, a ten hour train journey, especially for someone familiar with the utter shite that is the UK rail network, seems akin to being voluntarily waterboarded. However, this  was no ordinary train and no ordinary journey.

The Northern Explorer consisted of several comfy carriages, including huge windows, wood-style panelling, a food carriage, and most importantly, an open carriage at the back, where you could walk around freely and take in the sights. Unlike passing through Wolverhampton on a wet Tuesday via an Arriva Trains Wales service, the views consisted of all the natural wonders the North Island has to offer.

It didn’t smell either. And you actually had a seat.

Most of the passengers were silver-haired, as I assume they have the time to travel slowly in comfort rather than flying in a squashed seat. Which is slightly ironic given that they’ve most likely got the least time in a different sense. My neighbour for the journey was a pleasant older lady who I chatted to about NZ and the UK. She was on her way to visit relatives in Auckland, but she also had links to UK. This was one of the most rewarding things I had experienced so far on my travels, simply because it was nice to have a genuine conversation with a complete stranger. To top it off, she even offered to buy me an ice cream from the onboard cafe, which I gladly accepted. Moral of the story: respect your elders because they might buy you food.

After an hour or two I wandered down to the back of the train to check out the open-air carriage. It was a bizarre sensation to be on a train with no windows, just holes in the side. I felt a bit like a cow being transported to new pastures, or perhaps a scrawny goat to be more accurate. There were signs demonstrating that if you dropped anything over the side, it would be gone for good and there would be no stopping for it, which makes me think people have previously hit the emergency stop button when they’ve dropped their phone over the side. Butterfingers, you’ve been told.

Do not lean over the side notice at the back as well. There’s lots of tunnels which would result in cranial smushing.

I was enjoying this mode of travel. It wasn’t at all stressful, the views were great, and I was able to chat, read, go off on my own, eat, and do as I pleased. I think it helped that everyone was definitely enjoying the journey as well, unlike a flight or bus journey. However, the day was going well, so naturally the train gods decided that there should be an hour delay due to ‘waiting for clearance to go through works’, and by the time I got into Auckland it was dusk. I hadn’t planned on the train stopping so far out from where I was staying, and Auckland seemed a lot bigger and more intimidating than Wellington.

I headed off at a pace into the high-rises, and soon realised that my hostel was at the top of what seemed like the steepest hill in Auckland. Turns out it was the steepest hill in Auckand, with a gradient of 24.8%. #gradientfacts. By the time I reached the top I was pretty puffed out, and I plonked my bag down in front of the receptionist with a sigh, de-sticking my t-shirt from my body. Though I imagine this was a common sight given the size of the hill. Luckily, I had a room to myself tonight, which cost a little more, but it was only two days and I was looking forward to sleeping without being disturbed by the regular occurrence of motorbikes in dorms.

The room reminded me of uni halls, and I even had a desk to write at. A simple thing but dorm rooms are often filled with bed frames and mattresses and nothing else. You might get a socket if you’re lucky. Something that struck me was the fact that being completely alone was an odd feeling. I’d spent so long around people recently that the prospect of being alone actually felt strange, as much as it was welcomed at the same time. I suppose that proves we’re a lot more adaptable than we think.

Looking towards Tongariro National Park.